


Stars Around Scars

by Ihateme2



Series: Thomas Makes Mistakes [3]
Category: Alexander Hamilton - Ron Chernow, Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alexander Hamilton is George Washington & Martha Washington's Adopted Son, Angry Angelica Schuyler, Bisexual Alexander Hamilton, Cheating, George Washington is a Dad, Good Parent Martha Washington, Hurt Alexander Hamilton, M/M, Mom Friend Angelica Schuyler, Mom Friend Eliza Schuyler, Past Alexander Hamilton/John Laurens, Peggy Schuyler is a Good Friend, Supportive Angelica Schuyler, Thomas Jefferson Being an Asshole
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-23
Updated: 2020-11-23
Packaged: 2021-03-09 17:40:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,055
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27690151
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ihateme2/pseuds/Ihateme2
Summary: Jamilton story where Thomas cheats using themes from the song "Cardigan"This part is Alexander's POV and you don't need to have read the other parts or know the song to understand it.
Relationships: Aaron Burr & Alexander Hamilton, Alexander Hamilton & Angelica Schuyler, Alexander Hamilton & Elizabeth "Eliza" Schuyler, Alexander Hamilton & George Washington, Alexander Hamilton & Gilbert du Motier Marquis de Lafayette, Alexander Hamilton & Hercules Mulligan, Alexander Hamilton & James Madison, Alexander Hamilton & John Laurens, Alexander Hamilton & John Laurens & Gilbert du Motier Marquis de Lafayette & Hercules Mulligan, Alexander Hamilton & Margaret "Peggy" Schuyler, Alexander Hamilton & Maria Reynolds, Alexander Hamilton & Martha Washington, Alexander Hamilton & Sally Hemings, Alexander Hamilton/Thomas Jefferson, John Laurens/Alexander Hamilton (past)
Series: Thomas Makes Mistakes [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1880485
Comments: 4
Kudos: 28





	Stars Around Scars

**Author's Note:**

> Finally, I finished Alexander's POV! This one strays the farthest from the song but I like it the best out of all the parts. I also have had a lot of fun writing these and creating this universe so I will probably have other side fics for some of the other characters' reactions. I'll definitely make an Angelica one because I can't wait for someone to yell at and completely emotionally destroy Thomas some more :)  
> I obviously have Burn references because it's a Hamilton Cheating AU!!!

When Hamilton opened his eyes he was met with the sight of his white textured ceiling. He observed and traced the patterns for a while in contemplation. He had a strange feeling about today; it wasn’t necessarily a good or bad one, just ominous. 

Angelica was picking Alex up for school since Laf had started leaving earlier to help out some teachers before school started. Alex’s stomach was a kaleidoscope of butterflies due to his anticipation to see Thomas again. They didn’t get to see each other over break because Lafayette, John, Hercules, Aaron, Angelica, Eliza, Peggy, and he had just gotten back from their trip yesterday afternoon. When Hamilton called his boyfriend to see if Thomas wanted to hang out and watch a movie, Thomas dismissed him and said that they would just hang out tomorrow. Ice filled Alex’s veins as he tried to optimistically agree to what Thomas proposed before hanging up the phone.

The way Thomas’ voice sounded and the way he regarded Alex on the phone, resulted in Alexander staying up most of the night worrying over it. Had he done something wrong? Did something happen when he was away? His anxiety was getting to be too much which was why he tried to get ready as fast as possible and prayed the sisters would read his mind and pick him up earlier. His phone screen lit up with a notification as he slipped his shoes on, letting Alex know the Scuhyler’s came through yet again. He sent Peggy a quick reply that he’d be right out, and waved goodbye to Martha, and promptly ignored her disapproving gaze as he declined the offer of breakfast. The feeling of omncity didn’t go away like he had hoped when he got in Angelica’s car, so he opted to stare out the window at the dewy grass and let his mind wander. 

_The Washington’s had just adopted him and he was meeting his new brother’s friends._

_“Mon petit lion hurry up you have to meet everyone!” Lafayette called to him as he nervously got out of Laf’s car. He gathered from mumbled excited ramblings that morning while Lafayette was shoving pancakes down his throat, that Laf’s friends all met at a tree in the front of the school in the mornings. At that old maple tree is where Alex had met his new friends along with John Laurens and Elizabeth Schuyler._

  
  


The dull hum of the radio in the background could be heard as they sat in comfortable silence. 

  
  


_He had been excited for the first day of an actual new school year - a contrast to how he felt starting at the beginning of the second semester just last year. He had started many new schools before - a result of being tossed around the foster system, but that time felt different._

_Hamilton normally always got excited for the end of the school year, as he hated the previous schools he attended. This year, however, he wasn’t. He actually enjoyed it for once. So when he walked out of the building he felt empty. He still had his friends though, and his John too. But then, early June rolled around and crushed what good spirit he had.  
  
When John told Alex he wanted to break up with him, they both agreed it was for the best and that they would remain friends. At least in nearly everyone's eyes but Alex’s. He had been heartbroken and crying in his room. That’s when a knock came from the door and Angelica Schuyler stepped in. She had always known Alex like she knew her own sisters. Hamilton originally hated it, but now and especially in times like those, he loved it. She sat next to him and let him cry into her. He would always remember the scent of rose perfume and the feeling of her comforting arms. _

_Later that month, Alexander was still upset but ghat’s when he bumped into Thomas Jefferson and fell headfirst into the abyss held in hickory eyes._

“Alex! Hello!” Peggy’s voice and hand waving in front of Alex’s face broke him out of his trance. They were at school and the Schulyers were standing outside of the car waiting for him. He quickly got out of the car and walked with the girls to meet everyone at the tree. 

Walking up to the tree, Alex’s stomach dropped as he spotted Maria Lewis. He was good friends with her and enjoyed her company. She was technically involved with a snobby group of girls who liked to spread insidious gossip throughout the school. He still knew Maria was a good person, but his friends did not share his views on her. That’s why seeing her anywhere near his main group of friends gave him a skittish feeling. He pushed it away and let his face lit up with a genuine smile. He trekked over to where the rest of the guys were standing but his footsteps faltered as Maria whispered something to his friends that made their faces harden. Lafayette, John, Hercules, Aaron, and James Madison’s faces all showed genuine confusion and astonishment before turning murderous. 

“Hey, guys! Maria, it’s good to see you again,” he said and hugged Maria before turning to his friends and asking, “what happened?” Lafayette actually looked solemn. His normally happy excited grin wasn’t present. The ominous feeling hit Alex like crashing waves. He knew now it was a ~~bad~~ horrible feeling. 

That’s when Lafayette sat him down. 

* * *

There was silence under the maple tree for a long time. He stared at the leaves in the surrounding grass - paid attention to the way slivers of light came through the tree branches. He was looking and focusing on everything but his friends' faces. He knew he’d have a breakdown right there if he did, so he kept his gaze on the tree and grass. Long green strands brought back unwanted memories and he could almost hear whispered broken promises in the wind; he reached down pulling a piece of grass out. Aaron cleared his throat to say something but Hamilton didn’t want to hear sympathy. He cut him off saying, “Well, we better get to first period,” before rushing to stand up, making his head spin. His mind was flooded with memories of green grass, a magenta shirt, and the sharing of small secret smiles. 

* * *

_“Thomas, what are we doing in the middle of a field off a secluded dirt road? Wait! I knew it! You ARE trying to kill me! I should have known it was a trick when you asked me out. You won’t get away with it you kn-”_

_Alexander was cut off when soft lips met his. “Do you always have to jump conclusions?” His smile must have been telling enough._

_Thomas led him to where a blanket was set on green grass - the purple contrasting against the green. He could barely suppress his smile as he turned towards Thomas, but a larger slightly calloused hand grabbed his own and dragged him to sit down. His soft laugh resounded off the trees surrounding them. The sun was setting and the sky was a mix of reds, oranges, and pinks. His back met the ground as he leaned back to watch the colors fully swirl above him. A soft grunt could be heard beside him as Thomas laid next to him. He tore his eyes away from the sky to watch the beautiful man next to him and was surprised when he saw him staring right back at him. They watched each other for a long time, hands intertwined._

* * *

Hamilton rushed inside the school leaving his friends' worried faces and the memories behind him. 

His emotions were overtaking and crushing him. Everything was building up and he felt like he might burst. He tried turning into the boy's bathroom but a pair of arms grabbed him and he was wrapped in a tight embrace. Rose perfume flooded his senses and Alex allowed himself to cry into Angelica’s shoulder. Two other pairs of arms joined the embrace - whenever he needed the Schulyer sisters the most, they were always right on time. 

* * *

_“Thomas!” A shriek could be heard from the hallway of the Washington residence. Two laughs mixed together in a perfect melody._

_Alex was pressed against the wall with Thomas Jefferson’s obnoxiously smug face looking down at him. “I thought you’d stop being such an ass after we started dating,” there was a glint of something he couldn’t identify behind the hickory eyes he’d grown to love. “Never.” Thomas pressed his mouth down to Alexander’s and what started off as sweet and innocent, quickly became passionate and heated. They both pulled away from each other and the heat and lust that shone behind Thomas’s eyes was enough to make Hamilton weak in the knees._

* * *

Hamilton had managed to pull himself together despite the fact that it felt like his heart had been ripped out of his chest, been repeatedly stomped on, stabbed 20 times, and then lit on fire before being thrown in a garbage disposal. The bell was scheduled to ring in a few minutes so he wanted to get going to class despite knowing both Sally Hemings and that bastard would be there. He tried getting his bag and explaining that he needed to get to class, but the Schulyer’s had stopped him. They wanted him to go home - something about “mental stability”. As if he already had that. Hamilton and Angelica went back and forth a little while before Angelica finally relented and let him stay at school, but insisted they go to George and switch to a different class so he didn’t have to deal with Jefferson yet. 

On the way to his dad’s office, Hamilton could feel himself slipping. He thought he knew his boyfriend, but he was clearly wrong. He didn’t know why he wasn’t enough for Jefferson, but he decided not to dwell on it - not here at least. 

The girl’s in Maria’s group must have been telling everyone that Jefferson cheated on him with Sally because every pair of eyes in the hallway were on him, but he kept his head down. They didn’t get to know what he said or how he reacted upon getting his heart broken. Alexander was always loud and always had something to say, that’s why he knew keeping his silence would hurt and shock people more. They expected him to go punch Jefferson and belittle him, but he wouldn’t do that - he just couldn’t. Besides, no matter what calm and controlled exterior his friends were putting on, he knew his friends would cover the belittling and punching. 

In George’s office, Angelica and Peggy did most of the talking while Eliza had an arm wrapped around Alex’s shoulder attempting to ground him. Since Hamilton couldn’t fathom having to hear about it again, he chose to tune out the conversation and instead scan everyone's emotions. Washington’s grey eyes that always glint with wisdom now held storm clouds and his exasperated and tired thin-lipped smile was upturned into a scowl. Peggy, his best friend, and the girl that would not hesitate to commit murder if someone so much as looked at him the wrong way looked downright murderous. Her eye was twitching and she did not offer any sympathetic smiles she knew would do nothing but instead kept cracking her knuckles and muttering under her breath. It was a terrifying sight if he was being honest and he was glad he wasn’t on the other side of her rage. Eliza, his sweet Betsey who always knew what to do, was _pissed_ but was hiding it under a passive and supportive smile. Angelica, the only one who could match him, was completely blank but a million words were communicated through the sharp piercing gaze as she spoke to George. He studied her for a moment - watched a single unruly curl poke out from the mass of otherwise tame raven curly hair before a perfectly manicured hand reached up to tuck it back behind her ear that held a gold dangle earring with a tiny diamond at the end. Her calculating gaze flittered over to him for a second but quickly went back to Washington when she realized that he was staring straight at her. He tensed under Eliza’s protective arm causing her almond brown eyes to find his. A freckle sat on Eliza’s flawless high cheekbone next to her eye. He likes poking it or pecking her on the cheek there when joking around with Eliza and she enjoys it just the same. His lip gave a small twitch upward but it quickly turned into a scowl when he realized Angelica knew along. She knew there was something between Hemmings and Jefferson. 

_“I think you should push for him to come with us.” Alexander was surprised as Angelica cornered him in his bedroom as he was packing. Thomas was lounging on Alex’s bed texting someone on his phone, so Angelica pulled him to the side and spoke to him in conspiratorial whispers. His confusion must have shown on his face as Angelica reiterated, “Thomas. You should push for him to come more. There has been something off with him since the night of the dance.” She paused and was clearly wrestling with herself whether or not to tell him something. Hamilton reaches out to place a hand on her arm to let her know that she can say whatever it is she wants to. Angelica bites her lip as she looks him over with something he can’t quite grasp. She won’t meet his eyes but he gives her a reassuring smile and head nod despite the fact that he can feel irritation building beneath his skin because if it was about his boyfriend then he deserved to know. “I just-. Hemings has been flocking to Jefferson even more lately. Like something happened that suppered on her puppy love.” He felt his fingers twitch and he pushed down his irritation because he really did not want to get into an argument with Angelica right now. This was a conversation they have had before. She was always convinced something was going on with Thomas and Sally. While he couldn’t disagree that Sally definitely had feelings for Thomas, he trusted his boyfriend far too much to ever feel threatened by her. Angelica must have sensed that she wasn’t going to win this one so she just shook her head and gave him an uneasy smile before going back to helping him pack._

Hamilton would never confront her about how she knew, however, because it would be thrown back in his face as an “I told you so” and he really did not need one of those right now. So he watched the seconds tick by on his foster father's clock the words, “Be careful with that one, love. He doesn’t always think about consequences,” ringing in his ears. The shuffling of feet was heard and Angelica’s black eyes met his. 

He was transferred to Mr. Franklin’s homeroom with John and Eliza. Whispers and stares were surrounding him, wrapping him in dark shadows. He couldn’t concentrate, but he kept his eyes trained on Mr. Franklin so as to not give anything away. His heart wrenched when he realized even Mr. Franklin knew. His grandfatherly gaze is looking at him with pity but he is clearly thinking, ‘stupid teenage love’. Hamilton clenched his fists. 

* * *

_Alex had been so nervous talking about his past because he knew how it made him feel - used and broken. It had been shocking when Thomas wrapped his arms around Alex and told him he still loved him. Alex had been overwhelmed with emotions and all he could do was kiss Thomas. The way Thomas carefully laid him down on the magenta duvet told Hamilton everything he needed to know. Thomas truly loved him and he wasn’t like the others._

* * *

Hamilton was always civil, was always polite to the people around him, which was why it kind of pissed him off when all of his peers couldn’t at least be respectful and not gawk at him when he walked in the cafeteria. He took his normal seat not paying attention to the world around him. His friends were all on their phones, no doubt sending death threats to Thomas, and he loved them for that, but he also knew how this was all going to pan out. 

He hears John grumble something beside him and he looks up to see Jefferson sitting with Sally. He couldn’t breathe. His ex-boyfriend cheated on him and had the audacity to sit with the girl he did it with. He couldn’t believe it. Jefferson chased two people, but apparently only lost Alex. His eyes meet Sally’s. She looks shocked and a million things run through her mind at once, before she bolts out of the cafeteria. While Alexander really did not want to look at her right now or even be in her presence, he got up automatically to follow her while Jefferson and everyone just watched her. A hand reaches out to grab his arm and stop him but he just looks at Hercules with a smile imploring him to trust him. His arm is let go and Hamilton finds her sobbing outside of the girl's bathroom. Sally looks shocked when he asks to sit - they talk and he knows he was never mad at _her_ in the first place. 

Forgiveness is a funny thing.

* * *

Martha was on him as soon as he walked through the door. She grabbed his bag and rushed him over to sit on the sofa in the family room despite his protests that he was perfectly fine. He even threw in some sarcastic remarks to seal the deal. Martha’s scrutinizing motherly gaze, however, saw right through him as she always did. 

_“Alexander Hamilton where the hell were you! You better have not gone to that party when you know damn well I told you that you couldn’t go!” He begins to sweat at the use of the swear words as Lafayette tries to sneak past him. “Marie-Joseph Paul Yves Roch Gilbert du Motier de La Fayetteville, Marquis de Lafayette! Do not think for a second that you are off the hook!” They both look at each other to serve the purpose of ‘it was nice knowing you’._

He allows himself to smile at the memory as Martha sits down next to him on the couch, warm hand covering his own colder one. George and Lafayette both leave squeezing his shoulder recognizing that he and Martha needed to talk alone. “Baby, I know that it hurts a lot. This betrayal shocks all of us I assure you, darling. None of us expected this. We, not just George and I but your friends as well, gave this _boy_ permission to date you and he throws it back in our faces. Of course, nothing that we are feeling could ever compare to what is going on with you. You don’t have to pretend that it doesn’t hurt Alex. I’m not stupid.” He’s giving in and he so doesn’t want to. He wants to sit here and just be okay. Be okay with what happened. It was his fault anyway. He’s the one who actually believed someone could love him. He’s the one that believed he could trust Jefferson. And that’s on him. 

Martha must have known his thought process because she says, “Dear, it is not your fault. Thomas made the decision to cheat on you. That was Thomas sweetie. Not you. You are not foolish for trusting him.” 

Crack. 

He sobs into her arms as she kisses his head muttering reassuring words into his hair. 

* * *

  
  


That night Alexander lays awake in his bed, the only thing he feels is Jefferson’s fingertips across his skin; tracing patterns over the scars on his body, stroking his hip bones, writing his name on Alex’s thigh. 

He turns on his side.

He then hears a voice in his ear, _“I’m sorry I can’t go with you guys, but I’ll be right here waiting for you when you get back.”_

He turns on his other side. 

The same thoughts of it being his fault plaguing him.

He gets up. 

Looks under his bed to where his old sweatshirt laid - he feels like that sweatshirt. Old, used, forgotten, collecting dust. 

_“I promise as long as I’m alive you’ll never feel anything less than loved. Your wounds will heal, fade to scars, and will never reopen. I promise.”_ He can hear Jefferson’s heartbeat again, can see them under the streetlight, and can feel his hands over him again. The memory was ironic because here he was, bleeding again. 

The box sitting next to the old sweatshirt containing every note, letter, or doodle Jefferson made for him sat in it. Jefferson had always been slightly possessive and got jealous easily which is why Alex always did everything in his power to convince him he was his. 

But he simply couldn’t listen and he tore them apart. He reaches to gently pick up the note on top. The streetlight outside covers the paper in a low golden glow, and the paper is wrinkled from where it was shoved into Alexander’s locker. He digs his fingers into the paper as he scans it looking for something - he doesn’t know what - maybe an answer. Anger bubbles in Alex slowly but as he picks up note after note, it slowly begins to boil over. 

Alex smells rose and can hear, _“You fell in love with an idiot, dear, he has broken the careful trust you placed in him.”_

And if he picked up the box and silently crept down the stairs and stood in front of the fireplace and threw every single last piece of paper in it - nobody else needed to know.

* * *

Hamilton’s head was in Peggy’s lap and his legs were in Angelica’s. Peter Pan was playing and he felt comforted despite his heart still being shattered. While his gaze was trained on the movie, he was not comprehending what was happening, only watching. The quiet whispered murmurs of his friends could be heard as he laid there. They were concerned about him, that they knew, but none of them have felt this. A creak could be heard from the porch. Deep in his bleeding and aching heart he knew who it was. 

Despite what people said, Alex liked to think he knew everything. He knew Jefferson would haunt his thoughts at night - knew he’d think he saw him everywhere he’d go - and he knew Jefferson would come back to him eventually. 

That’s why when whoever was outside knocked on his door, he opened it only slightly so it just revealed him. 

* * *

Alexander never addressed Jefferson once, even when they walked down the street passing the same streetlight. The memory that came with it was once sweet and innocent but was now soured. Alex and Jefferson once danced together in the light, untouched by the darkness surrounding them, but Jefferson danced too closely to the dark - dragging Alex along and tainting their once light covered frames with shadows and lies. 

He wanted to leave Jefferson on the street standing there like an idiot, wishing for something he could never have again, but Alex knew he’d regret it for the rest of his life if he did, so he led them to their place in Martha’s garden; it was the spot Alex tended to. He had neglected it for the past month though, not being able to come out to the spot again. They just stand there, the silence deafening, before Thomas blurts out, “The worst thing that I ever did was what I did to you. I really am stupid and I don’t know anything but I know I miss you and that I fucking love you more than anything.” Alex doesn't have the strength to say anything - he wants to say a million things but finds himself unable to. His fingers twitch. Thomas begins to turn but Alex slips his hand into his and mutters, “You really are stupid.” Thomas’s face is covered in tears, but Alex wipes it clean, and Thomas leans down. There’s a gap for a few seconds but Alex closes it. 

_“I missed you”_

**Author's Note:**

> Like I said at the beginning, I'll probably create a few other fics with other character's reactions so expect Angelica's sometime in the near future! I'm sorry this part took so long to finish! It's the longest and most dynamic in the series so it took a little longer. The ending still isn't exactly the way I wanted it, but I'm still happy with it!  
> Thanks for reading!


End file.
